softness
I want life to be softer.
I know that i am built for the kind of goodness that my body can barely hold.
My soul has been shattered a hundred times over, and just like the shards of a broken mirror its fragments now show me the universe from a thousand different angles. The reflections are smaller than the mirror was before it broke, but each of them holds a complete picture all by itself. They are spread around every step i take. Sometimes i get cut when i pick one up.
Looking at the rainbow colours that a sunset paints in the sky gives me goosebumps. Sometimes i am in love with life regardless of circumstance, and the depth of how happy i am makes me cry. And laugh. When it snows, i cannot make a snowball without wanting to make three and juggle. When i fall for someone, it is because i see the universe in their eyes; not the other way around.
I know that i am built for the kind of goodness that my body can barely hold
but it does not want to hold it right now
life has been hard lately
sharp hard like a piece of glass
in-your-face hard; the heavy i can carry
but the light has been too bright
I don't want overwhelming joy and ecstasy. I long for softness. I want the feeling of the first sun of spring on my closed eyelids. I don't want to experience gratitude so intense that it pierces my chest. I want the stillness of small things without feeling the love they bring into every inch of me trying to burst out.
I'm not scared to fall in love out of fear of getting hurt. I'm scared because i already see the universe in everything, all the time; and sometimes i lose myself in all-that-is because that's all there is. When i've forgotten what i look like, i just want to look into someone's eyes and see myself reflected in the soul fragments that are scattered around the room... but i'll still see the universe. Sometimes i can't accept that your eyes are a simple mirror too.
I'm not asking for life to be easy. I'm asking for life to be softer. Just for a while.
I know that i am built for the kind of goodness that my body can barely hold.
My soul has been shattered a hundred times over, and just like the shards of a broken mirror its fragments now show me the universe from a thousand different angles. The reflections are smaller than the mirror was before it broke, but each of them holds a complete picture all by itself. They are spread around every step i take. Sometimes i get cut when i pick one up.
Looking at the rainbow colours that a sunset paints in the sky gives me goosebumps. Sometimes i am in love with life regardless of circumstance, and the depth of how happy i am makes me cry. And laugh. When it snows, i cannot make a snowball without wanting to make three and juggle. When i fall for someone, it is because i see the universe in their eyes; not the other way around.
I know that i am built for the kind of goodness that my body can barely hold
but it does not want to hold it right now
life has been hard lately
sharp hard like a piece of glass
in-your-face hard; the heavy i can carry
but the light has been too bright
I don't want overwhelming joy and ecstasy. I long for softness. I want the feeling of the first sun of spring on my closed eyelids. I don't want to experience gratitude so intense that it pierces my chest. I want the stillness of small things without feeling the love they bring into every inch of me trying to burst out.
I'm not scared to fall in love out of fear of getting hurt. I'm scared because i already see the universe in everything, all the time; and sometimes i lose myself in all-that-is because that's all there is. When i've forgotten what i look like, i just want to look into someone's eyes and see myself reflected in the soul fragments that are scattered around the room... but i'll still see the universe. Sometimes i can't accept that your eyes are a simple mirror too.
I'm not asking for life to be easy. I'm asking for life to be softer. Just for a while.
17-02-2019
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